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| taking a step backwards and going down the wrong path will only lead you to the past you dont want to remember.
so take big steps fowards, towards the things you want, and to make a difference that'll make you're life better.
i dont want to go back down one path. but the other... i long to go back to.
:/
today was interesting. :]
i had dance practice and... lol it got pretty frustrating... but it turned out to be okay.
we face so much challenges but... yeah.. i guess its good that we end up kinda... getting through them together :] i love my SGI friends<3
after dance, went to the puente mall with my mom and browsed since we had a long time for our movie to start. lol
ran into.... some people... and yeah.. i wasnt too happy to see... one of them but oh well. its probably cause of the dirty look she gave me. but anyways... yeah
i watched P.S I Love You today...
it was such a cute movie.. and i loved it so much.
makes me want an Irish man. LOl hahaha. but really, the guys in there were cute. :]
<33
but watching that movie.. it gave me so much thought and sooo much feelings...
it makes me want to fall in love... to fall in love with the right person too...
i cant wait....
but yeah... i had only one person come into my mind at one point of the movie... and i ask myself why him....
maybe i miss seeing him... maybe i just miss talking to him... and i got the craziest idea that.. maybe... i really did like him. i dont want to say love cause..lol it seems pretty foolish... for people our age to use the word love... but... gosh. what is it...
but all i know is that.. when you really do fall for someone.... you'll know that you have.
love... is... obvious. at most times i suppose...
but heck what am i talking about.. lol...
im done for today.
g'night. | | |
| holy crap.
i did so bad on my finals.
im surprised that i didnt fail any of my classes. well.. one of them i was so freakin close to getting a D in that class lets just say.. but omgah... im so lucky. ><
but im dissapointed in myself. :/
oh well.. i see no use to dwell and be sorrow of something that already passed and you cant change.. so i just say... do better next time. :]
i think we all know how difficult junior year can be now, since first semesters over, and i feel that everyone will try alot better and doooo alot better next semester.
i know i will ^^
well, i hope everyone else did good. lol if not, come join my party. xD
loll
*sigh. im so glad i didnt fail any classes T-T
anyways, today, i didnt do much.
went to get my eye check up.
and got a haiir cut. :]
well not really a cut but i got it trimmed. lol cause i was gettin a bit bored of my hair and also wanted it styled a bit.
:P
thats mostly it. i know, not too exciting. but oh well. i like nice relaxing days. lol
IM OFF TO GO PLAY SOME GAMES NOW!! wohoo~ | | |
| yayyy~
finals are finally over. lol
g'job to everyone ^^
anyways. the most exciteing or... most surprising thing happened yesterday. lol and i was just thinkin woah, what a way to end finals. xD
i was asked to winter formal and when he first asked, i thought he wasnt serious. LOl i think people play around "asking" people too much. LOl
anyways yeah. i wont say who cause like... yeah. lol i havent giiven him an answer yet so. yeah xD
LOl
it was funny.
uhm... other things... yesterday was pretttty... no, REALLY... i ono how to say it. lol
it was too unexpected.
after school, viv, wing, lawrence, n viv's bf, and i went to go eat lunch at pho. lol yummy stuff :] after that, we went to cherry on top for a bit. lol and after that to super h mart. thenn... we kinda walked around too.. but then we went to starbucks. we stayed there for quite awhile... talkin. lol well the others were talking. xD but i was just.. yeah. thinking bout stuff.
i guess it didnt go too well since i ended up being upset. :/
but i ono. lol what was i supposed to do. viv n her bf were talkin and lawrence n wing were talkin with the freshmans about... lol stuff.. that i didnt really want to talk about so yeah. lol
uhm.. lol yeah. i wanted to run away.
but anyways... after the... hang out with them, i met up with erm... LOl i dont know if i should say his name either cause... yeah xD but we met up at the diamons bar plaza place... ( well i stayed n he came xD)
and like.. yeah.. we took a walk n talked... talked long.. and... yeah. Lol
but then we had to hurry back to the plaza place cause... yeah.. i really needed to go to the bathroom. xD haha. omgah that was so scary. LOl
ANWAYS. forget about the bathroom thing but AFTER,
we went to the puente mall to watch a movie, but since we had like.. an hour before the movie started, we went to cue. xD it was so funny. n we sucked at the machines like crazy. xD
but yeah. after that we watched juno.
freakin cuuuuute movie<3
uhm yeah. then he took me home and.... lol
yeah. xD stuff happened but uhm. YEAh. LOl i'll save it for my other blog. (my personal one) xD
ooverall it was fun. :] i had a good time.
thank you.
im not being very detailed about my.. uhm... whats happening cause i ono... this is for everyones eyes.. and like.. i ono. i rather put it up on my blog where only i can see it. xD i dont want to confuse people either. :P so yeah.
im doin you guys a favor!! LOl
well now i wanna post something that i wrote like... 3 days ago. while trying to study for finals... lol but like.. i was thinkin about stuff n couldt concentrate so i wrote it up.
we're given 4 times, 4 shots, and 4 chances to experience what highschool really is.. but really.. only once chance at being a freshman. one chance at being a sophomore. one chance to be a junior. and one chance to be a senior.
dont make stupid decisions that can screw it up.
If its your first year, you've made it to the point where your real life begins. you've gotten to the year where you start figuring things about you and your life like never before... you've reached the year... that you start becoming who you really are, and start experiencing what life really is. reality. but really. what happens this year isnt as complicating as whats coming up for you throughout the other years. cause people start to mature... and feelings and thoughts start to get serious.
If its your second year, you've already been through the first year and took the first chance. you've been through a bit of drama already maybe? good. new experiences shape out what and who you're becoming. if you screw up at something, you shouldnt stress about it so much.. you still have time. but you have to keep making smart decisions.... you have to prepare, cause its the next year where you start facing some of the hardest difficulties. who knows, maybe you've already been through the worst... but really... does drama or unfortuanate events ever stop in high school or life? i dont think so.
Junior year. its your second to the last year. this is the time where they start pounding into your brains about what you should do to prepare for your future. this year really "counts". if you fail this year, you fail in life. hah, that's BS.... but thats how they really make it seem like. and you get sick of it. you've been through alot already. you're probably exhausted or maybe even sick of high school. but you keep in mind that you only have one more year in hish school. really, one more chance. you have to deal with underclassmen and put up with with some of their crap. you start to figure out who your real friends are.. and who really cares. you probably know more about yourself now too.. and have more knowlege about life and its reality it throws at you.. but you still dont know everything about it. get ready for your final year. your final chance.
Senior... i really dont know what to say about the final year. because i havent experienced it.. but i know for sure, its really your last chance to do the things you want to.. or maybe take the classes you've always wanted to? haha.. i dont know... but you start checking out underclassmen(or older? lol) cause you dont find anyone in your class level interesting anymore (xD). you get ready and stress for college. you want to experience everything and anything you havent yet throughout the four years. relationships is what you really start wanting maybe.. and if you already have one, you really learn or try to cherish it, for it to keep going. you try your hardest to find dates for your last dances. but if you like someone, hurry up and tell them. its your last year and you might never have the chance again. you want to got to a dance with the same person that you went with before? HECK. go for it. screw the stupid "rule" or whatever it is where people say its no fun or not right going with the same person(unless you're with them). who cares what other people think. if you like the person, or you're just friends, just have fun and make memories you'll love to look back to. not into anyone? its realy okay, so just go crazy and have the best year with your friends. run through the hallways and sing out loud with them. xD just kidding, dont get in trouble. lol but all i know is... to make your senior year absoluely the best. dont hate anyone. dont so anything you'll really regret. take your chances cause they're your last. heck.. just have a freakin good time. dont be scared about getting old. cause you're getting old with those you care about too. dont worry about doing silly or stupid things.. cause really.. its oNLY high school.. your life is going to be a new one after it anyways...
high school... filled with and maybe overflowing with drama and other stuff. it really seems so stupid now.. but you'll have nothing like it after your 4 years. so you really start to enjoy it... no matter how crappy the situation might be. high school is only one in many parts in your life, but one of the most important. dont take advantage of the little time you have in your days or life. really, find out who your real friends are and cherish them for the rest of your life...
after high school.. its a new start. you're new life. i dont know what else to say about it...
im just waitin to go with the flow... :)
life is just so interesting. frustrating.exhausting.exciting.fun. stressful. joyful. serious. entertaining. depressing. unexpected. old. new. long. short. life is just so random.
yeah.. thats what i wrote. n its weird cause of what happened kinda after i wrote it. lol i mean what happened.. like.. yesterday i guess... but like overall...
i dont know. what i wrote up there is like.. how i felt and feel about the 4 years. im sure you guys have different ideas about how you look at the 4 years.. but yeah.. that was mine.
im so sick of thinkin through things. so im just going with the flow with everything from now on.
so sick.so tired.
end. | | |
| danng.
i havent been on here in a looong time.
so whats my reason on coming back?
not really sure.
freakin.
lol i hate the ADs that are on the left side.
its so freakin annoying. ><
hmm...
well i dont really know what to write.
acctually.. i do.. but i dont have time.
>< i'll write some more later.
anyways. finals are alllmost over. just one more day :]
YAY~
okay well.. i guess thats it for now.
i guess its good to be back :P
| | |
| Its when I close my eyes... The pain Seems to fade away. What causes the pain you ask? Whats bothering me...
Theres so many things... So many things to cry about
And so many things to question about...
But what causes the pain...
People are happiest when they close their eyes to sleep. Their worries and pain go away. Its the only time your mind is free to think on its own. Free to think up anything and everything... making it a dream for you. Sometimes its bad... but it doesnt matter... because reality is not hurting you.
When you cry... you cry
And when you feel the pain... you hurt so deeply inside... and you want it to go away...
So you go into a deep, deep sleep... so reality wont come and hurt you.
Once you awake, the pain strikes you so fast... giving you no time to enjoy what dream you had. Thats reality... its no dream... cause reality is hurting you.
When will it be... when I will feel the pain no longer...
When will it be... when I can stay happy forever...
When will it be... when i can stay in my minds world... and never return to the real one...
When will the time be... when I close my eyes and never wake up again...
When will my wish be granted...
When will the glorious day come...
When will it be...
I want the pain to go away...
I dont want to cry anymore...
I dont want to worry about anything...
I dont want to ask anymore questions...
I dont want reality to stike me dead...
I dont want it to hurt me anymore...
I want the pain to go away...
I want that day to come...
[we cant all have what we want... can we?]
Do i really?
My mind plays tricks on me... and i wonder if this is one of them...
Why do I feel the pain i feel...
This pain... its from the words... that the people i love threw at me...
They threw knifes in my heart... and the pain seems like it will forever stay...
Words cant kill ones life... but it can kill ones happiness...
Leading to a sad broken heart...
Thats the pain...
The pain im feeling...
The pain from this world...
Reality has struck me...
The words are here to haunt me...
And my love cant see...
That they are killing me...
So slowly.
I miss the old days.... where we were all carefree.... | | |
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